(related to the Wyrdred Struggles Against ‘The Eight Arms of Corruption’ campaign)

This is a sample of our dialogue and interaction during the game.

Cast:
the Referee (Steve Powers)
Var Tol (played by Manny Galvan)
Ethan (played by John Moreland)
Malcolm (played by tOAD Bailey)
Wyrdred (played by me)

Wyrdred: We’ve just learned that the city of Capon Vera is being overrun by war galleys!
Var Tol: There are people there who would be interested in hearing that.
Malcolm: You don’t think they noticed?

Var Tol: Is my temple run by a Priest or a Priestess?
Steve: Yes.

Var Tol: What makes you think I’m a short, stubby guy?
Wyrdred: Cause awhile ago you said “I’m short and stubby.”

Var Tol (while dragging a ‘fitful’ dead body through the door, stepping over Malcolm, who’s covered in blood, and talking to a bawling–very recently orphaned–farm girl and her dog): “BE CALM, EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL!!!”

Wyrdred: I’m not doing anything where I have to roll a percentage chance of dying…although I did last week.

Wyrdred (trying to convince Malcolm to wait it out): Do you want our friend the troll to throw you 40 feet to escape?
Malcolm: No, but do you want to sit here ’til we’re discovered by Freeport guards?
Wyrdred: If they burst through the brush we’ll just yell, “Help us get the troll!”

Wyrdred: We should take our Freeport badges. They’re Damn hard to come by!
Wyrdred (2 weeks later): Let’s get rid of these damn badges!

Wyrdred: (Talking to an NPC) We underwent some unusual circumstances that required us to take off all our clothes.

Wyrdred (who has just cast a spell on a corpse allowing him to see the last minutes of the victim’s life): We’ve seen the creature…we know it exists.
Ethan (to the rest of the party): So you’ve all seen the creature?
Wyrdred: By we I meant me and the late victim.

Steve: A corpse has absolutely no place in any healthy sexual relationship.

Ethan: I yell up at them to see if they can hear me.
Steve: What do you yell?
Ethan: <blank stare>
Steve: Just some generic yelling?

Steve: For a change none of the squirrels looks at you ominously.

Wyrdred: Will I learn this on a limited basis or permanently?
Steve: That depends.
Wyrdred: On what?
Steve: On whether or not you have a non-weapon proficiency slot available.

Steve: The fate of the city rests on it.
Malcolm: On us running like horses?

Steve: You should return and entertain our students with your instrument.
Malcolm: Be glad to.
(Ethan and Wyrdred laugh.)
Wyrdred: How’d you interpret that?

Wyrdred: I prowl the room looking for a girl who looks….
Malcolm and Ethan (simultaneously): Androgynous?

Wyrdred: I’m stabling this horse and taking everything off of it…except for the horse stuff.

Steve: Var Tol, let me see your character sheet.
Wyrdred: Why? You won’t be able to read it.

Steve: They go to Robyn’s and rape all the women and elves.
Wyrdred: Oh, like we elves are just some androgynous race.
Var Tol: The Greeks were into that shit.
Malcolm: Yeah, the Greeks raped elves all the time…